Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Everyone needs understanding

I have no answers. No solutions for you. If you found your way here because of pain and separation in your life, I can't fix the problems. And I so wish I could! I honestly do. But I'll listen, friend. And I'll give you understanding that comes from my own past tears and hurt. And from what I remember, that is what I longed for so deeply when my own dear son shut me out several years ago. Just someone who understood.

Just yesterday, I was visiting with a close friend on the phone. She deals with terrible chronic pain every day. I listened, but I felt so helpless. I couldn't change a thing for her! I couldn't take away the excruciating sensations in her legs nor give her a peaceful night's sleep. But I did encourage her to call a mutual good friend. Because this elderly man, a much loved retired minister, lives with pain every day. HE would understand completely. He would listen AND know exactly what her life is like. And isn't that, I realized just awhile ago, what we so desperately long for as humans? Not only to be loved but to be UNDERSTOOD.

So please share. Unload your heartaches. We want to be a safe place to come. Last night, cloaked in the loneliness of 3 a.m., a hurting mother left a message here, asking for prayers for her children. I assured her that I would indeed pray. Today, as I've padded around the house or worked at my computer (while trying to stay warm!), I've thought of her often and said a prayer for her hurting home. I prayed for the other mothers who've reached out in pain, too. Broken bonds take time to heal. Sometimes a great deal of time. And often the waiting is just as painful as the separation itself.

Please, God, I pray for the hurting parents who've reached out for understanding and hope. Wrap Your loving arms around them and give them peace in their troubled hearts. I ask that You grant them strength and wisdom, too. Somehow let them feel Your love in their lives. Also, please, please bless their precious children, protect them, and help them navigate through these difficult times. I pray that Godly people minister to them and love them in the absence of their parents. In Jesus' name, we ask all these things. Yet not our will, but Yours. Amen.


  1. I am a Mom who has lost contact with her son. Parents have to make painful decisions and we had to cut the money enabling we were doing OFF and he left us, blaming us for what we were doing and we have not seen or heard from him in over a year. We pray for him every single night. That is all we can do and as a dear friend tells me, THERE IS ALWAYS HOPE. For any Mom who has lost contact with their child, know you are not alone.

  2. I have been separated from my son (22yrs old) for several years now. Only recently the extent of this separation came to light. He really does hate me it seems. The pain is unbearable. He won't return my calls, my messages or anything. I know the start of it was years ago ...his father telling my son all sorts of horrid things about me...mostly outright lies or converted versions of some truth. My son doesn't even know why he hates me (as said by my daughter, but he does) . I pray for healing in his life and my own. I need my son! I need to be his mother. But I don't know how anymore.

  3. Dearest friends, both of you Anonymous hurting mothers, as the first above said, YOU ARE NOT ALONE! So many of us understand completely your pain and suffering, the emptiness within your heart, and the deep longing to be a part of your son's life again. To be his mother in ALL sense of the word. Just keep loving him through your tears. Keep living your life as who you are...a woman of truth and integrity, full of love and compassion. Please keep in touch here. It helps so much to share with others who know and understand. We'll pray for you. Your son and family too. I'm going to add you to our Prayer List. God bless you, friend. I'd tell you don't give up, but I understand how empty that advice is. Because some days it feels like the separation WILL NEVER END. In God's time, though, I truly believe it will. Especially if you specifically ask God for that in His name for his glory. God can and does work miracles!

    We love you, and we're going to lift you up in prayer.

    With heartfelt love, sheryl

  4. i have not seen or heard from my son in over a year now. When a bond between parent and child is BROKEN-the SCAR we carry across our hearts as parents is at times, almost too much to bear. We will see other parents having those NORMAL moments we LONG for-but we stay silent and carry our SCAR with us. For us-PRAYER is the only HOPE. I will continue to pray for my son and for all other Mothers who carry this PAIN.

  5. Beyond the pain of separation is the NOT KNOWING how our child is. That must hurt EVEN MORE. At least some mothers hear news of their child through friends or family, which–though it stings–is at least of some reassurance. I had that when my son and I were estranged, and it helped. My heart breaks for you and for the deep, deep wound within your heart that you bear daily. You are in our prayers. We shall pray for your son, too.