Broken bonds. Healing hearts. I've been there. So has my son. But together, we found our way back to one another. That's my prayer for you...that you'll find hope through this blog and reassurance that God does answer prayer.
When the hurt and pain of divorce separated my son and me, I tried so hard to find someone else who understood my pain. In August 2003, I posted messages on Writer's Weekly, sharing my situation and even asking for another mother to e-mail me back. No one ever did. Several years passed, and I forgot about the messages. In the meantime, my son and I reconciled. In 2006, I remarried.
Then in July 2009, a hurting mom in Texas found those messages.
"I was reading your answer you gave about six years ago regarding your 16-year-old son not wanting to speak to you because you were divorcing his father," she wrote. "I am going through the same thing with my 15-year-old son and it is really difficult for me. Could you tell me what your outcome was and how you handled it? Thank you very much!"
My heart immediately hurt for this woman, and I e-mailed her back with words of comfort and hope. I told her that I'd pray for her and her son.
Less than a month later, ANOTHER woman e-mailed me.
"I was searching the Net for stories like mine and came across yours," wrote the mother from Louisiana. "I was wondering if your son ever came around. My son is 16 and is very angry with me for wanting a divorce. This has only been going on for four months now, and it's killing me not have the relationship we use to have. Would love to hear how it's going with your son and to know if there's any hope for me."
Once again, I wrote back and promised that I'd pray for her and her son. "My heart goes out to you," I told her. "I KNOW your deep pain so well. You are not alone! Despite our great relationship now, still I grieve a bit for those last years I missed in my son's life."
When a THIRD mother emailed me two weeks later, I really thought someone was pulling my leg. In fact, I shot off a fast note back to her, thinking it was a joke. Then I reconsidered and sent her a second note.
"I'm sorry I was abrupt," I wrote. "But yours is the THIRD inquiry in the past several weeks and at first I thought you might not be for real. No one's emailed me about this until NOW. So it's WEIRD that I'd get emails from THREE different women. If I can be of help, please write back. Back then, I longed for someone to talk to who truly understood, too."
Not long after those hurting moms contacted me, I wrote our Guideposts story (with my son's permission). It was published in the November 2010 issue.
Since 2009, we've all kept in touch, those three hurting moms and me. Fast forward to last week when one contacted me via Facebook, asking if she could share the Guideposts story with other hurting moms. YES, I told her! And please let me know what else I can do to help. That's then the idea came.....a blog....to help other hurting parents and teens. God? Is that something you want us to do? The very next day, a second of those three hurting moms sent me a message via Facebook, asking how I was and that she still missed her son....
"Oh my goodness...." I wrote her back. "What a God thing it is that you're contacting me! One of my three other mothers (y'all together were the impetus behind the Guideposts article) contacted me YESTERDAY on my wall and asked if she could share the GP article. Her question inspired to consider starting a blog with my son. I talked to my son last night and he said yes! So I'm working on the initial design etc right now. The title will be "Broken Bonds, Healing Hearts." What do you think? A place where parents like you (and like me back then) to share and find understanding and hope. I so desperately wanted someone else who knew what I was feeling!"
Less than a week later, here we are...a new blog just for you..... Please, God, bless this ministry and help us to help other hurting hearts.
P.S. Two of those three moms have since reconnected with their sons!