Thursday, April 19, 2012

A father shares

Last week, I received an update from a father who's reached out to us for prayers and support. With his permission, I'm sharing his recent frustrations and links to information that he's found helpful. He's hoping this info might help other hurting parents.

Here's his update:

"I have tried a lot of different things in regards to my children.  I have not really seen my children Since Nov 22nd. I have had seven visits in all the rest were blocked by the supervisor  that my wife appointed.  I have been going to their schools and dropping off notes and birthday presents. In all of the visits, the boys would look at the floor and ignore anything I said.

My wife got an ex-parte order so I didn't get to represent myself in court. My lawyer told me there was nothing I could do. That wasn't right; I should have demanded  a trial within seven days. I fired that attorney. I have found that in a civil matter you are guilty until you can prove yourself innocent. I got a guardian ad litem involved–he has been a God send for me. I was granted visits with my children on a regular basis. The only problem with this is they won't talk to me. I have not done anything to make them behave this way. I had a great relationship with my boys. Now it is nothing, and I am public enemy no1.

I have been looking for answers. I found the answer with the help of the guardian ad litem (Children's Attorney).

I want to give you this link. I think this  may be what is happening for many people who visit the website in varying degrees.  It may help them. It can be done by either parent to the other.  It is called parental alienation syndrome. See Parents who have successfully fought parental alientation syndrome and Family Wars: The Alienation of Children."


  1. Thank you, father, for taking the time to share with us. I'm so sorry to have to "meet" you like this. I cannot imagine going through what you have. I'm sure this information will help others.

  2. Thank you Diane,

    This somthing I belive would be hard for any parent. It is very hard to understand ,if this is happening to you.
    I was rejected again for a visit this past Saturday.
    . He came to the door and said” I never will go to the visits , I don’t want to see my Dad”. This is the boy I used to play Legos with , coach his basketball team was very involved in scouting with and took to breakfast at least once a month.(I used to make a point to do something individually with my children one on one once a month) I have been trying to visit with them individually to see if I can get them to respond.

    This really hurts. My Son is only 10. About 50% of all fathers loose contact with their children after divorce. I can see why if this is what is going on. It is very discouraging to try so hard to only be met with pain and rejection.

    I have been trying the best that I can. I can feel God helping me in my life. He will help us if we will only ask. It may not be help in the way we may expect or desire but he knows what is best for us.

    I know all I can do is endure, be patient, and put my trust in God. I have no influence on my 4 sons.

    My church is very supportive , the members have been , kind , loving and understanding. It is hard to go to church and listen, my church is very family oriented. When listening to talks, sermons and council on families it hurts knowing mine has been taken from me. It hurts knowing something good has been destroyed.

    I hope that God may restore my boys to me I love each and every one of them very much. I will not be one of the 50% of fathers that quit because it’s too hard. "Two people can do anything as long as one of them is God". With God’s help anything is possible.

    A Heartbroken Father

  3. Hi "Father". Yes, two standing in faith, can move mountains! Sheryl's situation once seemed impossible, but look what God did.

    I'm so glad to hear that your church is supportive. I do hope they are a praying church and will be interceding for you and your children. Malachi 4:6a says, "And He will turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers". That is a promise you can stand on.

    I will stand with you in prayer for that to happen. God bless you!