Saturday, June 4, 2011

Bridget shares her story


Via Facebook, I received a letter yesterday from Bridget, who wanted to share her story with us. After reading what she wrote, I asked her if I could post it here in hopes of inspiring others. 

Here's Bridget's story:

"Sheryl, I read your blog and would like to share a similar story. My husband and I were married for 16 years. He was 17 and I was 16 when we got together. I had already had one son. Yeah, I know, we were young! My husband was very abusive. I tried to leave him a few times, but our five kids would cry and I had no help from anybody. So I’d go back.

As the kids got older, they noticed some of the abuse. They were victims as well. My baby boy, Terry, was my boy with heart. He was an emotional child, but after awhile he did ask me to leave. At his urging, I did, but then he turned against me! The rest of the older kids understood. We had two younger ones as well girls, six and four.

Nonetheless, when I left I tried to talk to my boy, he said he had nothing to say to me. He even told everybody that I had died. We didn’t talk for more than two years. When it was time for visitation with the rest of the kids, he’d leave so he wouldn’t have to see me.

Then after two years, he called and asked if he could come and stay the weekend! I loaded everyone up and went and got my baby. I cried all the way there! We have been close ever since. He is 22 now. He was 10 when this happened.

When my husband and I got divorced, I moved to Ohio with my mom, and I took my kids with me. The courts gave my husband rights to the boys and I got the girls (NOT RIGHT). My baby girl would always say, “Mom, would you go back to Dad?” I’d always reply, “Why would I go back to the abuse?”

For about six years, we transported our children every two weeks to the halfway point between Kentucky and Ohio. I finally decided to move back to Kentucky. In January 2007, a dear friend/uncle passed away, and the funeral was at a church.  When I walked into that church, there sat my family, whole but separated. We weren’t allowed to speak to one another because of whom we were with. My husband was with a woman who would not allow us to talk, and I had a man the same way.

In the middle of that church, standing as an unbeliever in God, I looked at my family and saw how we couldn’t comfort one another. For the first time in six years, I knew what was wrong! We were divided. For the first time, I prayed to God to fix what was wrong. I had never prayed like that before because I was an unbeliever. So much bad had happened in my life that I’d convinced myself that God wasn’t real. If He was, how could all this happen to me, both as a kid and a grown up?

As I prayed, I had no idea what was going to happen. But it tore my heart apart as I looked at my family. One son stood in the front of the church with his wife. My baby girl was in the middle by herself. My other son was in the corner with his family, and my husband was with his girlfriend. At that time, I’d actually wished her dead because I blamed her for everything.

My family couldn’t comfort one another. As I said, I prayed so hard to God to fix us because I didn’t know how. I left from there and went back to Ohio. But in three months, I moved back Kentucky and reunited with my husband. My family was back together! But a lot of damage had been done.

In May of 2008, my husband and I were saved and remarried, two unbelievers in church for the first time, saved and baptized. My kids are all grown now except one. She’s 14. I can see the damage all this has caused to our children. But I am a Christian now so I know without a doubt that God will continue to heal the hurts.

A friend told me to write a journal or book about us because it truly is of God that we are back together and I’m in church, despite my sad past. My husband is no longer abusive. Why? Because our then seven-year-old daughter prayed for three years to get her mom and dad back together. And God answered her prayers.

Also, I believe the death of a very sweet man brought us back together because God can use anything, everything, and people, too, to be a light and show us what is wrong and where we need to be in life." 

THANK YOU SO MUCH, BRIDGET!!! Yes, God works everything together for His Good!

Love, sheryl

7 comments:

  1. Hallelujah! Thank you, Sheryl, for sharing your story. It is inspiring! God is the Restorer of the breach! I rejoice with you.

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  2. The thanks go to Bridget, Diane. She's the brave and honest one who shared her heart here in hopes of helping another hurting heart. And Diane, thank YOU, for being part of our circle here. God bless you all!

    Lots of love, sheryl

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  3. Thank you so much for your story. I am in a familiar situation where I am separated from the father of my children and I would do anything to have my family together again. There has been so much damage done by both of us but I believe that the love is still there.

    I have been trying to fight this on my own for months but I have decided to give it to God and really have faith that we will be brought back together again. We have been involved in going to court and battling custody and for me that was what said to me that things have gone too far and my love for him is too important to let it go this far. I dont know how to fix things and I am inspired by your story.

    All my children want is for their parents to be together again. I pray that I have the faith to believe that God will bring us back together as I am really struggling.

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  4. I've contacted Bridget and asked her to respond, friend. In the meantime, I'm going to place you on our Prayer List here.

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  5. Bridget replies:

    I am sorry you are going through a struggle. I understand how it is overwhelming. It is so hard when kids are involved. When my husband and I realized we was going to get a divorce, we decided to make it easy on our kids. They had been through enough so everything was agreeable. I got custody of the two girls and he got custody of the boys. There were other reasons for this choice as well. The judge did issue me to pay child support on the boys because I left and had a better job but my husband said that was pointless. That is like taking from one and giving to another so he opted out on me paying custody. But we agreed to help one another if we needed it.

    I do not know the situation that you are going through, but my opinion it is never to late to reconcile. God says let no man destroy what God brought together so there is always a reconcilation. I never thought I would reunite with my husband. He was abusive, as I stated. My husband and I were unbelivers in Christ and I always said after divorce it is to far gone and too much has been done. My daughter prayed for three years for us to get together, but I would always say to her "Why would I go back to the abuse?" We lived in different states, but I had to move closer to be around my kids. I realized I was missing so much of my boys' life.

    After six years, I moved back with no intention of reuniting. One day my ex husband came to me to talk. Leery as I was, we went for a ride and talked. He told me that my baby girl no longer believed in God.Even though I was an unbeliever, I knew this was wrong. I cried so hard but right then and there I knew we were going to get back together. I explained to my baby that God does not answer in our time but in His and He felt it was time.

    God has changed my husband. He is no longer abusive. It is like being with a different person. I sure hope this has helped. My advice is to not give up because through God all things are possible. As I told my baby, God answers in His time, not ours. We may not understand the answer, but it will be His will and not ours.

    I love you, sis, and my prayers are with you.

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  6. God Bless Bridget for sharing her amazing story and witness as to the power of PRAYER-and how God listens as our hearts pour out so much hurt to HIM. This story is a loving testament to FAITH and this family will continue to be blessed with re-newed love for each other. Thanks to you Sheryl for providing this wonderful website-a place to bring our broken bond stories, and share them. Everyone has a story--everyone.

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  7. Thank YOU, friend! That's what we're ALL here to do–support, love, minister, pray and care for one another.

    With love, sheryl

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