I feel as if a part of me is missing.
A hurting mother wrote me that this week. She wanted to know how I got through Mother's Day. And I've been thinking about that these past few days. How did I? I just got through it. But not without a lot of hurt, anger, frustration, resentment...all those emotions and more. I just felt so cheated!
I know so many mothers who are separated and/or estranged from their children. Some of those mothers are very close to me. One left town so she could get away from memories and breathe. Another mother I know is strong, too, and bears her pain without saying much. And then I think of all the mothers who've lost children through miscarriages and death. Mothers who gave up their children at birth. Mothers who don't even know where their children are. They'll all be hurting tomorrow, too.
You know, a long time ago, someone created Mother's Day with good intentions. But for a lot of us, the day only brings heartache. My heart goes out to you all, and I'll be lifting you in prayer all weekend.
So, yes, it's true what that dear hurting mother wrote me. There IS a part of you–a huge part–that's missing when your children aren't in your life. We are MOTHERS, so strongly tied to the children that we nurtured and raised. We love them. No matter what.
This past week, I don't know why but that Bible promise–"Her children will rise up and call her blessed" (Proverbs 31:28)–has been in my head. Maybe it's because of Mother's Day getting close. Or maybe it's because God is bolstering me as I deal with issues in my own life right now. But I do believe that when we as Christian women and mothers continue to cling to God and live according to His ways, even when we ache and want to give up, He will bless us. What's more, He will keep that promise in Proverbs, and it will happen. Maybe not tomorrow or next year or even 10 years from now. But someday our children will understand and accept the truth and see the true Godly women that we were and continue to be. Even when there are huge parts of us missing.
God bless you all. Please be easy on yourself this Mother's Day. If you need to cry, cry. If you need to yell, yell. If you need to talk, talk. It's okay to feel anything and everything your heart is feeling. Just get through the day, and remember this: YOU ARE NOT ALONE. And God will work everything together for His good.
In the meantime, here's a thought: if you can, reach out to another hurting mother on Mother's Day. Call her, pay her a visit or surprise her with a gift. When we minister to others, the ache in our own hearts lightens.
With lots and lots of love and prayers,