Sometimes, that's all you can do. Give up and give the situation to God. When there's no understanding, few lines of communication, anger and hurt. I want so very much to fix the relationships, but sometimes my attempts only worsen the separation. It's even hard to talk to God. Why bother? Nothing changes. It's hard, too, not to feel guilty for not continuing to try and heal the wounds. But when my attempts fail and make matters worse, then I have to give up even that.
Let go, and let God.....
Okay, God, show me what to do... Tell me how to handle this.... And please take away from own anger and frustration.
Please heal these broken bonds.
Wow...I could have written this! Thank you, Sheryl!
ReplyDeletePlease add your own thoughts! It's just so hard to know WHAT TO DO when someone shuts you out. Looking back on what happened between my son and I, I know I TRIED many ways to reach out to him. In a different broken bond I have now, I feel like giving up but I know I shouldn't......
ReplyDeleteWhat an ache...
ReplyDeleteSome bonds cannot be repaired, nor should they be. Years ago when I lost friends/church family, I was devasted. I came across this little frame with this saying: "When someone you love becomes a memory, the memory becomes a treasure." It stands in my bedroom. It was a major loss and unrepairable, but I chose to remember the good; therefore, their memory is a treasure to me.
I will be praying for you.
Yes, that's so true. Thank you, Diane. But I'll take those prayers.....when the broken bonds connect to family, you just can't give up hoping. That's me.
ReplyDeleteOh, absolutely! I agree. The first post (that wouldn't post) I had written something about never giving up on family. Second time around, I didn't. Sorry...
ReplyDeleteOh PLEASE no apologies necessary! As for family, that's what makes it so very hard...and sad, right? It'd be so much easier to throw in the towel and quit! Which often–I confess–is so tempting. I'm human.
ReplyDeleteSheryl,
ReplyDeleteYour prayer is just what I needed to read and it gives me renewed hope. I need to remind myself that I can absolutely trust God with this situation. When I look through my own eyes, I am miserable, I fight feelings of deep pain and sorrow, it is a ache in my heart that is always there just under the surface. Just like you, over the last 10 years I tried everything in my power to mend the broken fence only to create an ever widdening gulf and now, there is only silence. You talk about making matters worse! I have cried out to God for wisdom saying what would You have me do, I will do anything. In those moments I hear a soft voice in my mind to be still and pray. I do not know how God is working behind the scene in ways I can not see. My mother used to say...As long as there is life, as long as there is breath, we have hope. Prayer is the only answer in these situations. Let's remember to pray for all those broken families that God will bring about His peace. We are not alone.
Mom in California.
Bless your heart, my hurting friend in California. I so understand. My own current situation....I want to reach out to this person but then I don't. I think of emailing, maybe calling. Then I don't. When we talked once on the phone several weeks ago, it was awkward, just not the same. I didn't know what to say!
ReplyDeleteI want so much to fix this relationship, but I'm can't.
Then I think back on the years my son and I were estranged. I can truthfully say during that time I DID try everything in my power to fix our broken bond. I didn't completely throw up my arms and give up....I kept trying. Looking back on that part of the hurt, I feel at peace. Because back then, that's all I could do...TRY...and I did it...
And now? Something holds me back....
Sheryl ~ I stumbled upon your blog in search of something entirely different but I feel that I was MEANT to read this for many reasons. I have bookmarked your blog so I can return time and again. Thanks for the uplifting, inspirational words of wisdom and personal, first-hand knowledge you impart through your blog.
ReplyDeleteGod Bless and stay strong.
Thank you! And you are awfully kind. I started this blog with my son's blessings, but I haven't taken it much farther. Mostly, I wanted a place that hurting parents and other people could find if they were searching....or, like in your case, even if they're not...for someone else "who's been there." So even if I don't blog regularly, it seems God IS using what's here for His purposes. And that was my/our hope from the start!
ReplyDeleteIn His love to you and my other hurting friends,
sheryl
I'm having trouble completely letting go of a similar situation. I pray, and I try to make every conscious effort to give it to God, but for some reason my subconscious won't quite let go....any suggestions?
ReplyDeleteIn the meantime, I'm going to keep praying and keep trying to give it to God...
First let me say I UNDERSTAND, friend.
ReplyDeleteWhile the bond with my son was broken, I went through so many ups and downs. I'd feel stronger and let go for a while, then I was back to hurting again. As you're doing, keep praying. God certainly understands our humanness and how hard it is to hand over our problems to Him completely.
In the meantime, I hope and pray you can find happiness somewhere in your life. My suggestion: Can you find other things to do that will help take your mind off the situation? Maybe minister to someone who's alone, like an elderly person at a nursing home? You've got to focus on something else until this situation works itself out. Which could take awhile. That's hard, too...finding PATIENCE.
Please keep me posted. I'm going to put you on our Prayer List.
With love and prayers,
sheryl